"reflection pool" blue paint...

A paint color...really God...I love it when God speaks...I love it most when I can hear...He loves it most when I listen and apply...sometimes it takes more than one coat...

I can't help but think of looking across glistening tropical blue water when I consider the name of this paint color. I also can't help but think of seeing my face looking back at me. Unfortunately I think the color from a distance would bring more peace and tranquility than my actual reflection.

We all know that things can seem so different from a far than in your face reality. We all know that we have our days when no one but us and God knows how we really feel. What we are really thinking. What's heavy on our hearts.

We've all done it...how are you? "FINE" we say...when in reality we are hurting deeply but don't even have the energy to share with others or the trust to believe that they really care or have time for "our stuff."

I have those days too but thank God that I have friends and family that always seem to know when I just need a shoulder to cry on, a knee to bow with in prayer, a measure of grace, an embracing unconditional love, a gentle touch, an encouraging word, and sometimes a kick in the pants...

When we are low we are usually the hardest person to face. The person who beats us up the most. Our very own personal bully. We are not doing ourselves or others any favor by wallowing in our self. We have to take heart...remember Who's we are and get back in the race. Back to life...back to serving others.

We need to be like John Birkitt and just hope they see Jesus in us...He came that we might have abundant life...WHOLE...

Have you looked at your "reflection" lately...I have...I don't like what I see...but I know the one who can and will make the necessary changes...I can tell Him everything...I can trust Him...

look in the water...the living water...you were made in His image...

Jesus replied, "If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water." John 4:10





This dresser project inspired this day of blogging...Happy Wedding April :)

Life is NOT a fairytale and Disney isn't doing us any favors...

I have no idea where this thought is going to take me but I do know I have a million other ones bursting to be written. I also know where it will ultimately lead. The one and only true Kingdom!

As a little girl I thought in my heart that someday I could be Cinderella. That everything I ever needed or wanted would be made available to me on a silver platter. I certainly didn't come from a home where any silver platters existed.

I grew up in a small town with small means. I didn't even know we were poor. I had clothes, food, a new doll every Christmas, a bed...even if I did share it with a brother and a sister, a dog named Albert, and one of those big deep tubs with feet.

I think I was a happy child, even though my mom always said I was her biggest crybaby. I still am!!! I remember playing in a pile of dirt all day making mud pies and decorating them with dandelions. I also loved to play with my brother driving matchbox cars through the roads we carved out with sticks. We would rake leaves into paths with larger openings that were our own little space, our room. If I had just a small place that I could call my own I could be happy there. I could make it "perfect" for me. My castle!

Some people would say those were the hard days...but they weren't. Those were the best days. Those were the days when pain and loss had not broken my heart into a million pieces. Those were the days when I still believed in "happily ever after." I am sure you can remember those days too. That would be a fairytale...and that is not the reality of this thing called life.

The reality of this life can come at you hard. It can rip loved ones from you with cancer. It can steal their minds with depression. It can drown your dreams in a single wave. It can turn your plans upside down in an instant. We just can't rely on fairytales...after all...

The apple a day theory sure didn't work out for Snow White...it was poisoned...

The glass slipper may have led the prince back to Cinderella but really people, can you imagine what your foot looks like crammed in a glass slipper...that ain't a pretty sight...

Lady married the tramp...

Frogs don't turn into princes they just pee on you when they get scared...

really guys...green tights...

never say never...oh you better say never a lot...

how many beauties end up with a real beast...

straw can be spun into gold...well maybe if you grow it for a crop...

prince charming...probably still lives with his mother...

took 7 dwarfs to take care of one woman...that's against the law...

I take it you get the point by now. Life is certainly not a fairytale. It is life. It is hard and it is real. Fortunately we don't have to depend on "Prince Charming" to come along and make our world perfect.

Be encouraged my fairytale friends because we can always depend on the King of all Kings to be there with us through each and every second of this life. He will walk with or carry you through the good times, the hard times, the bad times, the desperate times, the lonely times, the painful times, the impossible times. And when all is said and done you will be stronger. You will be able to help others in their troubled times. You will be in His arms and His will.

When The King decides your days in this place are complete He will bring you home... to a Kingdom called Heaven that He has prepared for you. Your own "little space" that will be just perfect for you!!! And you won't care if the platters are silver :) They may even be gold...

Pamela Carol Aire To The Throne

The pain of change...

Springtime always stirs my heart. The sound of the birds singing. The beauty of new life as the flowers begin to bloom. This year it seems to be stirring deeper than ever, bringing up a lot of unresolved pain from deep within my soul. Pain that comes with life...pain I have tried to ignore...

I have been thinking a lot the past weeks about all the things in this life that come and go. The people, the places, the seasons... I have also realized that I have been creating a barrier around my heart to protect me from the pain of change..the pain of losing people, changing places and seasons.

My mom died 12 years ago this spring and once again as the flowers begin to bloom I am painfully reminded that she is not here to enjoy what she loved best. I am reminded of this empty place within my soul. I know they say it gets easier with time...really? Oh how I would love to be able to talk to her..to ask her some hard questions about this life of mine, to be able to share all of my heart with her...I don't think I ever did that. To just simply plant flowers together...we loved that...

When you lose something or someone that is so close to your heart it is hard to let anything or anyone get that close again. Well it is for me and when I have the pain of change seems to always show up and the wall continues to go up.

We spent 10 years getting to know new people as they came and went within the church body that was struggling so to keep on keeping on. We fought the good fight but our hearts grew weary and we made a change. A change that brought pain and still does. I miss every single one of those people. If you know me at all then you know I miss the children the most. Their smiles, their hugs, their laughter and their always present unconditional love. Oh to hear just one of them say "Miss Carol"

Change is hard for me. I will admit I am a control person and I don't like it when things don't go as planned. I have to step back and know that it isn't about "my way" but His way. So hard to let go and let God...

My job of the past five years was such a blessing for my soul. I didn't realize that either until the pain of change showed up again. I miss the opportunity I had to love and to be loved. We had the greatest patients you can imagine. Yes we had a few that made it tough at times but over all...they brought such joy to my life. They even brought flowers...I miss those flowers...

Oh and these seasons called life...they are the hardest of all...no way to know what is next and what it will be like. Let's just say I love spring the most, when love was fresh and new and the babies were filling our quiver with their little lives. I cherish those memories...just wish I had cherished each and every moment and not rushed through them. That is so hard to do when they are small and they keep us busy every moment of every day and even some nights. We hurry them to crawl, to walk, to talk, to go potty, to write their name and say their ABC's...to grow up... before you know it...they did just that...I miss my quiver fillers...

I am so proud of each of them and thank God for what He is doing in their lives. I thank him for letting me be their mom. He must love me a lot to have given me such a gift.

This barrier around my heart has to go. I want to be able to live each day to the fullest. To love and to be loved. To give what I have been given to this world. To make someones day a better place to be. I know I may love and lose again...that's okay...the love will be worth it...it's time to change even if it hurts...

And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding. Daniel 2:21

Stuffed love with a heartbeat...

As I look back on the past few days I am surprised how hard they were on me. Losing Mac has been so painful. Painful for me but more painful to go through this with Cari. Mac had a very special purpose in her life. He was there for her during some very difficult times and she adored his unconditional affections toward her.

We can all be hard on ourselves at times and for Cari that is a daily struggle. Mac was a reminder to her that she was loved, that she was needed by others, that she was special. Mac was a reminder that even when things aren't "perfect" they can still be good for the soul.

See Mac wasn't "perfect" to the people who bought him for breeding purposes. For that reason they didn't want to keep him. Their loss and our great gain. He was "perfect" for Cari. He was always there to love her when she felt unlovable. He was there to show her compassion when she could find none. He was there to be close to her when she just needed to cry. He didn't mind. He just drew closer to her. His love was always unconditional. Good day or bad day...Mac was still Mac, stuffed love with a heartbeat.

I believe God placed Mac in our lives on purpose. He is going to be greatly missed. I also believe that God is still working in Cari's life and that Mac's work here was done. God will always love Cari when she feels unlovable, He will always have compassion for her, He will dry her tears. He will always love her unconditionally. God is the love who created the heartbeat. He's perfect for her...

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17